


the pull (within me)

by geralehane



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alpha!Lexa, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, F/F, Lexa isn't such a traditional alpha of course, Omega Verse, Omega!Clarke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22146433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geralehane/pseuds/geralehane
Summary: She thinks she’s never smelled anything like this before as she runs out of the building and climbs into her car. Life is clearly determined to prove her wrong at every step of the way, though. Because a couple of days spent lying to her parents about an upset stomach and frantically researching and buying scent blocking pills for alphas later, she meets Clarke Griffin. Who’s quickly established herself as the most popular freshman – who’s a beautiful, charming, smart, funny girl fully accustomed to everyone falling at her feet, be it alphas, betas, or even other omegas. Who’s not even in heat, and yet smells so much better and so much stronger than the forgetful girl in Lexa’s history class. Who, based on that little fact, is her one and only mate.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 94
Kudos: 1479





	1. Chapter 1

This isn’t how it was supposed to happen. But if anyone understands that sometimes – most of the time – things don’t go as planned, it’s Lexa. 

Girls aren’t supposed to fall for girls. Girls aren’t supposed to be alphas. Girls aren’t supposed to play rough sports or want to become politicians or -- be anything that’s not a meek pie-baking mother and wife. It’s not that she particularly minds the thought of becoming a wife and a mother someday – she’d just like to be those things with another girl. Before the supposed time of her first heat, she used to quietly dream of finding a girl alpha and running away with her. And then, she turns fifteen, and the dreaded heat doesn’t come. Late bloomer. It happens. Except a week later she walks into a high school building full of omegas and proceeds to hide out in the bathroom on the first day because one of her classmates was unfortunate enough to go into heat a little earlier than anticipated and didn’t happen to have her suppressants with her. 

Ironic doesn’t even begin to cover it. 

She thinks she’s never smelled anything like this before as she runs out of the building and climbs into her car. Life is clearly determined to prove her wrong at every step of the way, though. Because a couple of days spent lying to her parents about an upset stomach and frantically researching and buying scent blocking pills for alphas later, she meets Clarke Griffin. Who’s quickly established herself as the most popular freshman – who’s a beautiful, charming, smart, funny girl fully accustomed to everyone falling at her feet, be it alphas, betas, or even other omegas. Who’s not even in  _ heat _ , and yet smells so much better and so much stronger than the forgetful girl in Lexa’s history class. Who, based on that little fact, is her one and only mate. 

Clarke catches her staring in the hallway as she passes by, and her lips quirk in an amused smile that’s bordering on mocking, and Lexa knows she’s  _ done _ . Because Clarke is effortlessly beautiful, and cool, and she’s already surrounded by her own little clique even though it’s barely been a week of high school, and Lexa – Lexa’s basically the definition of a freak. Something that shouldn’t exist; a nature’s mistake. Lexa’s also a scrawny little thing with eyes too big for her narrow yet long face, and her hair’s a fuzzy mess that can’t be tamed. The only reason she hasn’t shaved it off is because her parents might kill her. And because being bald probably wouldn’t suit her already thin frame. She shivers, suddenly cold, and tugs on her oversized cardigan, as if attempting to shield herself. 

A beta girl a little shorter than Clarke swings her arm around her shoulders as she tells her something, and Clarke looks away from a terrified Lexa as she joins in the girl’s loud laughter, playfully shoving at her. She doesn’t want to wonder if they are laughing at her, because they probably are. She simply takes a deep breath, shakes off her stupor, and turns back to her locker. 

It’s not like she’d ever be able to come out as a female alpha. Not with the career path she’s already chosen for herself. It would be bad enough being a woman in politics. So, really, having one of the most unavailable girls as her omega only seals the deal. She can’t be with omegas. The most she can hope for is finding a nice beta girl and settling down with her, posing as your average lesbian beta couple. Sexuality stopped being relevant anyway, becoming the betas’ prerogative with the emergence of alphas and omegas. She has an out, and it’s not the worst-case scenario by a long shot. 

Besides, true mates are overrated. Love can’t be reduced to simple biology. Just because she wants Clarke, doesn’t mean she’s in love with her. Doesn’t mean she’ll fall in love with her even if they were to mate. She learns that after spending several weeks looking up everything there is to look up about mating, particularly interested in cases of failed mating bonds. Unsurprisingly, there are plenty of them. And there’s no doubt in her mind Clarke and her would’ve been one if they were to –  _ no. _ She can’t even think about it without her lower stomach twisting and pulling, the ache a maddening mix between pleasant and painful.

So that’s how alphas hit puberty, she thinks bitterly. There are no heats, but there’s also virtually no self-control. One whiff – one  _ thought _ \- of omega, and her body goes into caveman mode. Grab, mark, hump. Lexa shakes her head, disgusted with the urges running through her veins.  _ That’s not who I am. It can’t be. It doesn’t… it doesn’t  _ have _ to be. _

But she’ll deal with her newly discovered identity crisis later. Right now, she needs to figure out how to steer clear of Clarke Griffin for as long as possible. Ideally, for the entirety of their high school career. 

* * *

Ignoring Clarke turns out to be pretty easy at first. Mostly because Lexa’s rather ignorable herself. She doesn’t join any clubs, deciding to focus on her studies during the first year instead. The only thing she does run for is the freshman student council, but, according to her meticulous plan, the position she goes for is the treasurer – a good politician needs to know their budgets. And, while valuable to her personally, the treasurer position doesn’t exactly scream Miss Popularity. Especially in the freshman council. No one ever knows or cares who’s in the freshman council. 

She knows, though, that in order to become the sophomore VP next year, she’ll have to make herself known and make her classmates trust her enough to choose her. That means becoming noticeable. That means running in with Clarke sooner or later. But she can’t afford to hide out in the library for four years. Getting straight A’s is paramount to get into college, but it’s the bare minimum. That will only ensure a spot at a local community college. Lexa’s top picks are Harvard, Yale, and Stanford. Simply being at the top of her class won’t cut it.

She’s got a whole life of fighting and winning ahead of her. Clarke’s nothing but a minor inconvenience – and she’ll have to treat her as such. 

Which proves a little bit difficult when Clarke decides she wants to join the council as well. Fortunately – and at the same time infuriatingly – she decides to join the school-wide student government. Lexa watches, mouth agape, as Clarke’s friends run around the school hanging posters and handing out pamphlets well after the official elections are over. Of course, Clarke runs for president. Of course, she’s not allowed to become one since the position is already taken. Both of these things aren’t surprising. Her _actually_ _getting_ a spot, even if as a secretary, is what makes Lexa want to punch something. Or throw something out the window. Preferably the sleazy Finn dude constantly following Clarke around like a – she doesn’t want to say puppy because puppies are adorable and Finn’s so not. Except Clarke thinks he is, for some unfathomable reason. 

_ He’s a beta, _ the dark, ugly part of her being that both disgusts and scares her whispers whenever they pass by.  _ She’ll never be happy with a beta. She’ll never be happy with anyone but her alpha. She needs to be claimed. Taken. She needs to  _ belong. 

_ Shut up, _ Lexa hisses at the voice, and busies herself with homework and audit handbooks. 

* * *

She's seriously considering skipping her very first big council meeting. Just for a second, when she wakes and stares at the ceiling, and the unwanted images from hazy dreams swirl in her head, fresh and vivid and entirely impossible. But she can’t put her future on hold because of a girl, no matter what kind of a girl it is. And what she might mean to her, if only given a chance-- 

She’s twenty minutes early. It’s just her luck that so is Clarke. She’s already sitting in the empty classroom when Lexa walks in, and they just awkwardly eye each other for several seconds. Clarke’s probably trying to figure out if saying hi to her would be below her social status. Lexa’s trying not to react to her scent. It’s especially powerful today: fresh and crispy with just a hint of sweetness. That’s what so unusual about it, Lexa realizes. Most omegas she’s met smell almost overwhelmingly sweet, or floral, or fruity. No matter what’s at the core, it’s the strongest component, and it makes her suffocate more than it makes her lose control. Clarke, however – Clarke’s literally a breath of fresh, untainted air. Like an early morning forest, or the night ocean, or -- 

“Uh,” Clarke suddenly looks uncomfortable. It takes her a second to realize it’s because of her creepy staring, so she quickly averts her gaze, clearing her throat. “Hey. Looks like we’re the first ones here.” 

“Yeah,” Lexa manages not to squeak. That would’ve been embarrassing. Because there’s nothing else embarrassing about this situation.  _ Jesus. Focus. You’re an alpha, and supposedly a leader in training. _ She straightens her shoulders, clearing her throat again. “Hi. I’m Lexa Woods. You must be Clarke.” 

One immaculate blonde eyebrow flies up in amusement. “Must I be?” 

“I, um, I mean,” Lexa stumbles. In a last attempt to regain her composure, she crosses her arms over her chest and raises her chin. “I’ve seen you around. Hard not to with the campaign you ran.” 

Clarke sighs. “Yeah. I lost a bet. Now I’m here, at 7 a.m.” She leans back in her chair and carelessly twirls her pen between her fingers, completely oblivious to Lexa’s rising outrage. Lost a bet? And still got in? Lexa’s planned being a part of school council since she was in elementary school, and she barely managed to land a spot. Mostly because there was only one other candidate and he thought being a treasurer meant free money. 

She’s so consumed by indignation she barely hears Clarke when she addresses her again. “So, Lexa Woods.” She wishes the playful undertone of her words would fly over her head, but apparently that’s not possible when dealing with the true mate. Or, perhaps, Clarke’s flirtatious nature seeps through everything she does, no matter who she’s talking to. “What do you do in the council?” 

“I’m a freshman council treasurer,” she forces herself to reply, even though right now she doesn’t even want to look at Clarke.  _ Unfair. Everything – so unfair. _ “That means being responsible for budgets and anything else to do with money.”

Pink lips twitch in a small, amused smile. “I don’t know if it’s the blonde stereotype or the omega one, but you don’t have to spell things out for me.” Several silky strands slip out of the loose ponytail as Clarke cocks her head to the right, making her huff and undo it entirely. “I’m guessing you like books.” 

“I’m not a stereotype, either,” Lexa states. She doesn’t mean for it to sound this cold, but it still does. Clarke’s smile fades as she blinks, clearly taken aback. 

“I didn’t mean it that way. It was just a joke.” 

“I’m not laughing.” Lexa says lowly.  _ What are you doing,  _ she yells at herself inside her head. And there’s another voice, the  _ other _ one, rumbling through her mind and her entire being.  _ That’s it. Make her submit. Make her--  _ “Sorry.” It’s abrupt and a little loud, and if Clarke didn’t think she was a weirdo, she definitely does now. “I’m a little on edge. Not used to waking up this early.” 

This time, Clarke’s smile is tinted with relief. “Tell me about it.” 

_ Weak.  _

_ Shut up. _

She forces herself to finally move and sit. Not wanting to be weird, she chooses a seat near Clarke. But not  _ right _ next to her, because that would probably be weird, too. 

As soon as she sits down, Clarke inhales. And frowns. Lexa freezes. She pushes her hands in her pocket, finding and squeezing the bottle of pills. Clarke’s nostrils flare as she sniffs at the air, and Lexa feels the color drain from her face when she turns her head to meet her eyes. 

“What?” She snaps, shakily, when Clarke wouldn’t look away. 

“Uh – nothing. Sorry. It’s just -- do you have a brother?” 

“No,” Lexa replies on autopilot and curses herself. That would’ve actually been a perfect cover. “Why?” 

“There’s just this… smell on you…” 

“I don’t  _ smell _ ,” she protests, because she figures that’s what a beta would do. “I shower twice a day.” 

“No, not  _ that _ kind of smell. Like…” Clarke’s gaze becomes distant, hazy, for a brief second. Then, she blinks, and shakes her head. Lexa allows herself to exhale, slowly. “Never mind. Sorry. I’m being creepy. Probably just your shower gel.” 

She’s thankful when other members start flooding in and she has an excuse to not continue talking to Clarke. Who sits next to her the entire meeting and waves at her with a smile when she leaves. And Lexa -- Lexa’s angry again. Because Clarke was supposed to be a complete, self-absorbed bitch, but she’s actually a decent person. If only a touch too carefree, but she figures it’s the exact right amount for a teenager. Lexa’s not delusional. She knows she’s the uptight one among her freely laughing chatting peers. 

Clarke’s a decent person with an easy smile and sparkling, excited eyes, and that makes everything so, so much harder. 

She gulps down two more pills as soon as she’s out of the room. 

* * *

She didn’t know  _ harder _ would turn out to be  _ absolutely fucking impossible. _ Because for some  _ fucking _ reason, Clarke’s determined to be if not friends, then at least civil acquaintances. That entails her saying hi and stopping by her locker for a quick chat and occasionally walking her to class. She doesn’t know if Clarke’s truly oblivious to dirty glances some of her friends throw their way, or she chooses to be. 

But. That entails her  _ noticing _ Lexa, and that’s exactly what she was hoping to avoid. People don’t have to know each other personally even if they know  _ of _ each other, right? Wrong, according to Clarke Griffin. 

She somehow manages to endure the daily assault for several weeks before finally imploding. Clarke runs into her after the cheerleading practice – Lexa was dumb enough to lose track of time while at the library. She’s fresh out of the shower, and her hair’s still damp, and so is her skin, and Lexa  _ can’t _ take it anymore. 

She grabs a smiling Clarke by the wrist and yanks her into the nearest empty classroom before she has a chance to protest. The alpha in her howls, trying to claw its way out and pin, mark, tear apart, but she grits her teeth and pushes it down. 

“Lexa, what--” 

“Why are you doing this?” she demands, interrupting Clarke, who’s frowning at her in confusion. “Why are you trying so hard to be friendly with me?”  _ Because I can’t have you in my life. You’re messing everything up.  _

“Trying to -- I  _ am _ friendly, what do you mean  _ trying _ to be friendly?” Blue eyes narrow as Clarke studies her. “What’s so wrong about that?” 

“I…” She really should’ve thought this through much better. “It’s weird, okay? We’re not on the same level. You’re the most popular girl in school.” 

Clarke chuckles at that, stopping when Lexa’s face hardens. “Wait, you’re serious? You care about that crap? Do you -- oh,” she cuts herself off, then, her eyes growing soft and sympathetic. “You don’t… think I’m setting you up or anything, do you? Because it’s not a prank. That’s not why I want to be friends.” 

The thought of it being one giant cruel prank hasn’t even occurred to Lexa, but now that Clarke mentions it, she can’t stop thinking about it. And how plausible it is. “Then  _ why  _ do you want to be friends?” 

Her omega – she has  _ got _ to stop thinking about her like that – shrugs. “Why not?” She asks, simply. “I like you. You’re funny, even though you’re not trying to be sometimes. And you’re  _ so  _ much smarter than most people I know. And, you know,” Clarke’s face becomes an amusing blend of intrigued and embarrassed. “For a beta, you smell – nice. Like…” She trails off, frowning at herself. “Uh, let’s forget that part. That was weird. So, everything I’ve said up to  _ that. _ You’re pretty cool. Why wouldn’t I want to be friends with you?” 

Lexa’s mind races as she tries to make sense of everything Clarke’s just said.  _ Especially _ the part about her scent. She thinks Lexa smells nice, for a beta. Lexa’s been popping her pills like crazy every day. She’s kinda mildly concerned about her health at this point.  _ Nobody _ should be able to sense an ounce of alpha on her. And somehow, Clarke still does. There’s no doubt in her mind that that’s what Clarke means by  _ nice. _ Perhaps, that’s why she’s clinging to her – the scent’s weak enough for her to confuse the attraction with a simple, platonic friendship. But not weak enough to miss and to  _ not _ pull her in. 

She clenches her fist, trying not to inhale too deeply, because it’s doubtful that Clarke’s scent combined with her growing irritation and fear would result in anything good right now. She needs new pills. The ones that come with a prescription that she can’t get without blowing her cover. At the very least, she’ll have to come out to her parents, and she’s not ready to be disowned. 

_ Or, _ the voice soothingly rumbles in her head.  _ Or, you could tell Clarke everything. She’s the only one who still senses you. The true you.  _

“Wait.” Oh, that’s right. Clarke’s still here, waiting for her reply. “Why don’t  _ you _ want to be friends?” She tries not to look when Clarke crosses her arms over her chest. Sometimes, the girl’s shirt choice makes her blood boil. In both good and bad ways. “Are you one of  _ those _ betas?” 

“What betas?” Lexa replies, distractedly. The slow, lazy pull in her stomach grows stronger when Clarke’s nostrils flare in irritation – and then, blue eyes darken as Clarke frowns with confusion of a different kind. 

“Those, uh, betas,” she says. Her voice weakens as she stares at Lexa. “You know. Fanatics trying to lock alphas and omegas up cause we’re an ‘abomination’.” 

An abomination. Lexa can’t help but grin at that, because – she doesn’t even  _ begin _ to understand. 

“You have a really nice smile.” Clarke’s voice is pensive, as so is her expression as she studies Lexa, as if seeing her for the first time. Lexa’s not sure she likes where this is going. “I mean. It’s beautiful.” 

“I have to go,” Lexa blurts out as she pushes past Clarke and hurries to the exit. She needs to get out of here, because knowingly or not Clarke’s started to pump her pheromones out, and Lexa doesn’t know how her body might react to an actual, active seduction from her mate. And she doesn’t want to find out. 

Clarke doesn’t know they are mates. She doesn’t know she’s an alpha. She might accuse her of sexual assault, or worse, and in a way, she’d be absolutely right, and – she  _ needs _ to get out of here. 

“Lexa, wait!” Clarke yells after her, but she doesn’t slow down. Instead, she starts running, and by the time she reaches her car, her lungs burn worse than her heart. 

* * *

She already knows something’s wrong when her parents invite her to join them for dinner. Family meals are a rare occurrence, with either her mother or her father or both away at work. Usually, she cooks herself something passable and scarfs it down in front of her laptop. So she feels completely justified in her apprehension as she gingerly sits down on a chair her father pulls out for her. 

“What did I do?” She decides to cut to the chase. Her parents glance at each other, and if they hoped for any chance to pretend everything’s okay, it’s gone out the window the minute they do that. 

“What makes you think something is wrong?” Her father casually asks as he begins piling her plate up. She squints. Looks homemade. Even more evidence something’s happened. Her mom only cooks on weekends. 

“If you feel there’s something to discuss, I prefer to do it now,” she states, not touching her food when it’s placed in front of her. There it is again – the reluctant exchange of careful glances. Then, her mother clears her throat and fishes something out of her pocket, putting it on the table. 

Well. Lexa has to smirk, bitterly. This day just won’t quit punching her in the throat. “My pills,” she simply remarks. Because what else is there to say?  _ A friend left them behind?  _ She’s got an entire supply of those stashed in her closet. Really, it’s on her. She shouldn’t have been so careless. Just because her mother doesn’t snoop around in her things doesn’t mean she wouldn’t one day. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Her father’s usually booming voice is quiet, but it’s laced with sheer disapproval. Lexa grits her teeth, determined to not let the hot, burning tears escape. 

“I didn’t think there was anything to tell.” 

“Honey,” it sounds fake falling from her mother’s lips. Probably because it’s the first time she hears it from her. “How can you think that? You’re --” she chokes, not able to continue. 

Lexa gives them a wry smirk. What was the word Clarke used today? Ah. “An abomination. I’m aware. Don’t worry. I can hide it just fine. Everyone thinks I’m a beta. If it weren’t for the pills, you would’ve thought so for the rest of your life.” 

“Taking those pills without consulting a medical professional can’t be safe, Lexa.” Her father’s voice is familiarly stern, but it’s the sliver of concern, and  _ fear _ , that makes her want to collapse. “You should have told us the minute you realized you were… an alpha.” 

She swallows at his brief pause. “I didn’t want to embarrass you.” 

It’s loud when her father’s fist bangs on the table. She’s certainly expected it to happen, but a little earlier in the conversation. And about something different. “ _ What? _ ” He exclaims, and his face twists in raw anguish. “ _ Embarrass _ us? Lexa,” he takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “I might not be the most gentle of men, but I am still your  _ dad,  _ you hear me? Look at me,” he demands, but his voice cracks, and that’s what makes Lexa finally meet his pained gaze. 

“Victor,” her mother says, reproachfully. “Don’t push her.” 

“I’m not--” he stops, sighing, and shakes his head. “What I’m trying to say is – you should never be afraid of telling us anything.  _ Especially _ not because you don’t want to embarrass us.” 

“Yes, sir,” Lexa whispers. Something drips on her hand, hot and salty, and she sniffs, once, twice, before she’s sobbing. 

She almost stops crying, out of shock, when her father’s tentative arms slowly wind around her. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs gruffly. “It’s okay. We’ll do better. I promise.” 

“We will,” her mom quietly agrees as she hugs them both, and their shared, soothing scent only makes her cry harder. 

* * *

Her father doesn't want her taking pills anymore, but she almost has a panic attack at the suggestion, and he backs off. They decide to compromise. The next day, he drives her to a private clinic, where she gets prescription drugs specifically tailored for her. Her new doctor, a stern beta, shakes his head when he learns what pills she used to take. 

“Those can be very dangerous if you’re not careful about the intake,” he tells her. “I might have to prescribe you some antioxidant supplements.” 

“Please don’t tell my dad,” she asks quietly. “I know I’m not eighteen yet and you could, but – he’s already worried enough.” 

The doctor sighs. “I will have to ask you to come in for a weekly check-up. If there are no long-lasting effects, I won’t tell him. But if they are, I would be obligated to let him know. He’s your responsible alpha.” 

“Well,” her bitter smirk reappears. “As you may have noticed, I am an alpha, too.” 

He nods, completely unfazed. “And a minor.” His glasses reflect as he looks at her over them. “Let’s hope those pills didn’t do any damage, and you should be good.” 

She doesn’t exactly have any other choice but to agree to his conditions. As he prepares to walk out of the room, she remembers something. “Uh, I have a question. Is it… possible that those pills weren’t working on some people?” 

He pauses, looking at her. “You’ll have to be a little bit more specific.” 

“A girl in my class,” she breathes, resigned. “I think she’s my mate. She was able to smell me through the pills.” 

“Then I think you’re right.” Her takes off his glasses, putting them in his front pocket, and looks at her again, this time much warmer. “You know, it takes other people their whole lives to find their true mate.” 

“Yeah. How convenient it is when I can’t be with mine,” she scoffs. It’s not a fairytale everyone supposes it to be.

“Teenagers. Always needlessly dramatic,” he smiles, shaking his head. “Talk to your parents, Lexa. I know you’re very young, but you might have to face your identity sooner or later. Better be prepared when that time comes. And…” he visibly hesitates, clearly questioning whether or not what he’s about to say will cross a certain professional line. “Make sure you don’t make a choice you might come to regret when you’re older.” 

She gives him a tight-lipped smile. “That’s  _ exactly _ what I’m trying to do.”

* * *

Her phone chimes just before she goes to bed that night, and she glances to see who’s texting her. Usually, it’s the president of the freshman council. But this time, it’s not Jared. In fact, it’s a number unfamiliar to her.  _ Is everything okay? You never miss school, _ it reads, and she frowns, hoping it’s not who she thinks it is. 

_ I’m sorry, who is this? _

The response comes almost immediately, and her heart sinks with it.  _ It’s Clarke. Are you okay? _

She moves her jaw, unsure of what she should do next. Continue? What’s the point? Her fingers work quicker than her brain.  _ Where’d you get my number? _

_ Jared gave it to me.  _ Of course. The little weasel. He would do anything for attention from a pretty girl, who Clarke certainly is. 

_ Well, delete it, _ she types and almost sends, stopping herself just in time. That would be rude, and completely uncalled for. She sighs as she erases the text and types a new one.  _ I’m fine, thank you for asking. Good night.  _ Still rude, but not as rude. Hopefully, Clarke will take the hint.

Her phone chimes again as she settles in her bed, signaling that Clarke won’t, in fact, take anything.  _ I’m glad to hear that. See you tomorrow. _

Lexa groans, turning on her stomach away from the phone. If the new pills don’t help with the problem, she might have to change schools. 

* * *

The pills do help. In a way. Clarke no longer sniffs the air around her, and gone are the curious, lingering stares. But that doesn’t make her go away. If anything, she doubles down, and Lexa, for all of her big – fully internal – talk, simply doesn’t have the heart to reject her friendship offer. Perhaps, in a previous life she’s fucked up badly enough to deserve this kind of punishment. Maybe not. But, in the end, she succumbs and accepts it. And she regrets it less and less with each passing day. Clarke’s kind of… amazing. 

Her father is another person fighting for her attention now, which isn’t such a bad thing. After her accidental coming out, he’s decided that she needs guidance to what being an alpha means. Lexa figures it wouldn’t hurt learning to control her urges, no matter how revolting she finds them. 

“Exercise,” her father tells her immediately. “Lots of it. It will help redirect everything you’re feeling and make it less intense.” 

“Is that why all alphas live at the gym?” Lexa asks, not able to hide her disdain. Her father laughs. 

“Maybe. I’m willing to bet most of them are just trying to impress omegas. That’s kind of the main cross you’ll have to bear.” 

“Omegas?” 

“Well,” he pauses. “Not  _ them _ , but the constant need for their attention. You’ll crave it, if you don’t already. Good news is, that should pass once you’re mated.” 

“What if I don’t want to mate?” Her father gives her a bewildered look that she ignores. “What if I just want to find a beta girl and not bring biology into it? What if I just want to be –  _ independently  _ happy?” 

“You can be happy with your mate,” he tries, but she quickly shakes her head. He sighs. “Well, I suppose you can do that, too. But – I don’t know if you will be able to stay away from your mate when you find her. Just… think of that. I just don’t think you can fully commit to someone who’s not your omega, because when you meet  _ her…  _ It’s indescribable.” 

She bites down on the  _ I know _ threatening to fall from her lips. “ _ If _ I meet her,” she corrects him. “Less and less people actually do. Anyway, you were saying something about exercising?” 

Victor beams, and she just knows she’s screwed. Over the course of the following week, he proves she’s right by signing both of them up for everything their town has to offer. Gym, swimming pool, boxing, even trail running. Lexa groans when he gives her a printout of their schedule. “Dad. You can’t be serious. I have school, how am I supposed to manage all of this?” 

“I might have gone overboard,” he muses, looking over the list again. “Okay. You choose what stays and what goes.” 

“Uh,” she glances at the schedule. “I guess running is okay. Maybe boxing, for self-defense. But everything else has to go.” 

“Even gym?” Victor looks like she just ate the last blueberry muffin, and she sighs. 

“I guess gym can stay, too. But only once a week. I don’t want to get huge.” She glances down at her own skinny frame and snorts. Yeah, right. As if that will ever happen.

“About that,” Victor winces. “You might experience a growth spurt. It makes exercising all the more important. You need some muscle to put on those growing bones,” he jokes. 

“I’m an alpha, but I’m not a boy, “she protests. Victor smiles. 

“Look. Alphas tend to be more muscular, and stronger than an average mal—um. An average beta,” he stumbles. “It’s nature’s way of ensuring we can take care of our mates and pups. That doesn’t make you any less of a person. I mean, look at me,” he flexes, both playfully and awkwardly, making Lexa roll her eyes. “Not bad for an old man, huh?” 

“Father. You don’t have to try and be a  _ dad _ so hard.” 

He blinks. “Alright. My point is, your body will change. Wouldn’t it be better to be able to shape and control those changes?” 

She hates that she perks up at that. “I suppose.” 

“Taking care of your physique doesn’t make you dumb.” 

Lexa struggles not to roll her eyes. “You’ve made your point,” she says, impatiently. “I’m agreeing with you. What should I do to make sure I’m growing the way  _ I _ want to?” 

“Well,” he starts. “First, you need to figure out  _ what _ is the way you want to grow.” 

* * *

Lexa’s surprised to have survived the first year of high school with moderate success. She’s actually  _ asked _ to be a part of sophomore council the next year – Lexa guesses her saving the school enough money to buy a new football uniform while being only a freshman has something to do with that. Even if that’s not the case, it’s so going on her college applications. She recognizes that the number of votes she got in the actual election are mostly due to Clarke being her friend, but it’s a gift horse’s mouth she’s not about to look in. 

All in all, it wasn’t a bad year. She met her mate, which began as something unfortunate, but they actually managed to become friends. All of her grades are perfect, and she even got into sports. She’s considering joining the track team next year. Her father grins so much around her it’s bordering on creepy. So does her mother, though. Which isn’t all that bad, if she’s being honest. 

Clarke’s parents are taking her on a three-month long trip to Europe, and she makes her promise she’ll miss her. Lexa rolls her eyes, but does, not lying in the slightest. It’s hard  _ not _ to miss Clarke. She’s happy for her, though. And if Finn staying in town away from her has something to do with it, so be it. 

“Text me every day,” Clarke demands the morning she leaves. Lexa comes over to say goodbye, because apparently friends do that. She doesn’t question why Clarke’s other proclaimed best friends Raven and Octavia aren’t there. 

“If I don’t die,” Lexa snorts. “Father is dead set on making me into a marine, it seems.” 

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Clarke wonders idly as she finishes checking her backpack for everything she might need. Lexa swallows. Sometimes, she wishes she could tell her everything. Sometimes, she  _ forgets _ Clarke’s not supposed to know everything. 

“Uh, he’s just trying to bond with me. I don’t mind.” 

“Huh. Well, maybe when I get back you’ll be buff and hot.” Lexa cocks her eyebrow as she watches Clarke run around the room. “Do I have everything? Feels like I’m missing something.” 

She stands up from her bed, then, opening her bedside drawer and grabbing a passport that she offers to Clarke. “You don’t think I’m already hot?” 

Contrary to what she expects, Clarke doesn’t try to joke her way out of it. She watches, with the familiar pull in her stomach growing stronger, as blue eyes widen and flicker to her lips. “Friends aren’t supposed to find each other hot,” she replies, quietly. That doesn’t stop her from taking another step closer to her. Those couple of inches she has on Lexa feel gigantic now. 

“That wasn’t the question,” Lexa points out, just as quietly. Inwardly, she’s absolutely  _ appalled  _ at herself. The alpha’s close to purring. 

Clarke inhales, deeply, and her breath catches in her throat as her pupils widen, filling the light blue of her iris, and it would be so  _ easy _ to lean up and -- 

“ _ Clarke, we’re late! _ ” Mrs. Griffin yells from downstairs, making them spring apart. “ _ What’s taking so long?”  _

“Coming!” Clarke yells back, her eyes briefly flashing with annoyance. Lexa feels the same way. Multiplied by a thousand. She’s  _ furious _ they got interrupted. And that’s why she’s grateful they did. 

“We should,” she gestures at the door helplessly, and Clarke nods, her eyes still hazy with the moment they shared. 

“Yeah.” There it is – Clarke’s pensive look that she throws her way from time to time, as if trying to crack the code she’s not sure exists. But it quickly dissipates into a soft smile of a friend. “I really am gonna miss you, Lex.” 

“So am I,” she says, grateful her voice doesn’t crack with emotion. Like she said. It’s hard not to miss Clarke. “Send me pics.”

Clarke winks. “Will do. Expect a lot of bikini selfies.” 

_ Dear God, no, _ Lexa thinks, but manages to muster a half-smile. “Of course.” 

* * *

Clarke does deliver on her promises. She also asks for Lexa’s selfies, but it feels too strange to send them. At first, she’s a bit self-conscious to do that. Then, the internal changes she feels in her body become external, and it feels too much like showing off. 

Everything feels -- weird. It’s almost like one night she went to bed her usual self and woke up this other person. This tall, lean,  _ ripped  _ person. She might not really feel like an alpha, but now she sure looks like one. Even her voice has changed, becoming just a touch deeper and fuller. She’s thankful it’s not the deep rumble of her father, because she would’ve had a hard time getting used to that. Her physique is not overly muscular, but compared to what she was working with before she feels _ huge. _ And how’d she even get this tall? 

“Swimming,” her father explains, chuckling, as Lexa marvels at herself in the mirror by the end of July. “And all the chin ups. You should be very proud of all the hard work you’ve put in. Your friends might not even recognize you.” 

“They really might,” she mutters. She thinks she likes her hair the most, out of all the changes. She doesn’t know if it’s the hormones or her new diet – maybe it’s simply the wonder of using a conditioner – but she loves how silky and curly it is. It’s always been curly, but now, it falls down her shoulders in beautiful, thick ringlets that are much more manageable. “I don’t have any clothes that fit me anymore.” 

He perks up. “Do you think it’s time I introduce you to button-ups?” 

Two months ago, she would’ve protested and stuck with her usual t-shirts and long-ish skirts.  _ Too masculine, _ she would’ve told herself.  _ Too alpha. _ The truth is, though, she hates skirts. The only reason she forces herself to wear them is so there’s nothing  _ alpha  _ about her. Now, however – now, she doesn’t think skirts would help much. 

She purses her lips, pensively. Watches the way her mouth moves on her newly matured face, the fullness of her lips complimenting it instead of sticking out like a sore thumb against sickly hollow cheeks.  _ Buff and hot, _ she recalls Clarke joking, and feels her cheeks heat up. “I wouldn’t mind a shopping trip, actually,” she says, slowly. 

Victor blinks. “Wonderful.” 

“No suits,” she warns, dimming his enthusiasm. 

“Of course not. Those come later.” 

* * *

The first day of school, she sits in her car and contemplates driving away. It’s not too late to change schools. There’s a nice boarding school on east coast that might still accept her if she transfers. 

_ Don’t be ridiculous, _ she scoffs as she stares down at her well-defined forearms.  _ Get up and get it over with _ . Her lips press together in a tight line as she throws one last glance at herself in the mirror and finally climbs out of the car, grabbing her simple black jacket. She figured buying a leather one would be a bit of an overkill, and settled for a Harrington. Simplicity has always been her go-to policy when it comes to clothes. That’s not something she wants to change, even if her style does. 

Style. She grins, and it’s a little sheepish as she glances at herself while awkwardly shrugging her jacket on. She’s never really  _ had  _ a style before. Mostly oversized, baggy clothes and shapeless skirts to hide her thin figure. One rule was to stray from anything overly masculine. A rule she’s snapping in half right now, with her slim fitted grey t-shirt and black jeans accentuating her recently developed muscles and desert boots making her step confident to the point of cocky. 

She tries – and fails – not to wonder about Clarke’s possible reaction when she sees her. Will she recognize her? Will she frown? Will she laugh? 

However, the moment she walks through the front doors those thoughts have to take a backseat. Because it feels like  _ everyone _ is staring at her. There are glances, and whispers, and intrigued smiles from alphas and betas and omegas alike, and she has to grit her teeth and grip at the strap of her shoulder bag to stay composed. Well. At least this will help her get used to the scrutinizing kind of attention she’ll definitely get once she starts climbing the political ladder. 

A beta girl she doesn’t recognize appears before her seemingly out of nowhere, lips curled in a flirty smile. “Hey,” she says, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. Lexa has to smile, because – does that actually work? “I’m Elena. Are you new here? Haven’t seen you around before.” 

“I,” Lexa shakes her head, blinking. She catches the sight of familiar blonde hair over Elena’s shoulder and immediately sobers up. “Sorry, I have to go,” she tosses her way and hurries past her, to the achingly familiar scent of Clarke Griffin. Who’s standing with her back to her as she excitedly chats with Raven about something – her summer in Europe, if Lexa had to guess. She presses her finger to her lips when Raven notices her, signaling for her to be quiet and ignoring her bewildered expression. 

Clarke tenses, briefly, when her hands – her new, larger hands calloused from rope and bar – cover her eyes. She takes a deep breath, unable to stop herself and letting her senses be assaulted by all things Clarke.  _ God, I missed you. _ “Guess who,” she murmurs quietly in her ear, enjoying being the taller one for once.  _ And for all, _ her alpha adds, gloating. 

“Holy shit,” Raven breathes next to them, but Lexa ignores that, too. She hears Clarke take a deep breath, and almost protests that she’s cheating, but she doesn’t get the chance. 

“Lexa? You--” 

Well. Waking up every day at six am and aching all over and having to buy an entire wardrobe – all of that was more than worth witnessing words die in Clarke’s throat. And the comical widening of her eyes. And her pretty mouth hanging open as she looks her up and down with unconcealed disbelief. It was worth all of that and more. And Lexa finally  _ fully  _ understands her father's words about craving an omega’s attention. She’s got something to offer for that, now. 

It feels  _ glorious. _ Up until she notices Clarke’s done some growth of her own. Lexa has to bite the inside of her cheek to stop her own mouth from going slack as she takes her in. Her omega’s no longer a cute teen. She’s -- an  _ omega. _ All round and soft and inviting, her hips full and her chest heavy. All… woman. 

Lexa doesn’t think she would’ve been able to hide her gulp if she wanted to. “Uh,” she rasps, not surprised to find her throat has gone dry. “Hi.” 

Clarke’s a little less poetic. “What the fuck,” she blurts out as she keeps staring at Lexa, shock still apparent on her face. “Are you – have you been taking steroids?” She inquiries, and Lexa almost feels insulted before she realizes it’s a legitimate question to ask a formerly scrawny beta girl. 

“No,” she hurries to reassure her, then. “No, my dad – he, uh, was in the military. We trained the whole summer.” 

“You never told me that,” Clarke points out. She sounds – still shocked, but now a touch accusatory, too. 

“Yeah, I didn’t know about it myself. Like I said, it was… bonding,” she finishes lamely, rubbing the back of her neck. Raven mutters  _ oh damn _ under her breath, but neither one of them reacts. “He, or  _ we  _ may have gone overboard with some things.” 

Clarke blinks. “How’d you get this tall?” She says, seemingly thinking out loud more than actually asking. Lexa chuckles. 

“Swimming. And chin-ups.” 

* * *

“I still, like, can’t believe it’s you. I’m only half-way there,” Clarke tells her, later, when they sit under the oak in her backyard and munch on chips. 

“The wonder of puberty. You changed, too,” Lexa points out, trying to sound calm. Truth is, she has to dig her fingers into her thighs hard enough to hurt every time she glances Clarke’s way. She sincerely hopes that passes and she gets used to Clarke’s new body, because she’s not sure how long she can go on like this. 

She’s also not sure how to react to Clarke’s newfound interest in her. And there’s no doubt she’s more than a little intrigued by  _ her  _ new body. She can smell her arousal, coupled with the occasional instinctive pump of pheromones directed at her. If it weren’t for her rigorous sport regime vastly improving her self-control, she’s afraid to think what she might’ve done. Probably would’ve jumped Clarke right then and there, with the first inadvertently heated glance. The worst part is, she doesn’t think Clarke would’ve minded. 

_ You think her omega wouldn’t have minded. Clarke the person, however… _

Clarke shrugs. “Me changing is expected. And totally out of my control. My body’s trying to make sure I land the strongest alpha there is,” she smirks wryly, and Lexa has to suppress an actual fucking  _ growl _ at the thought of some alpha – no. She can't even think about it. “But you… This is all you,” she gestures at her, amazed. “This is hard work, and dedication.” 

Lexa actually feels a little guilty. In a way, she’s lying to her, isn’t she? Thankfully, Clarke takes it as her being bashful, and her smirk softens. “You look great, Lex. Not that you didn’t before, I mean--” 

“It’s okay,” Lexa interrupts, smiling. “I was a skinny kid. Not the best looking.” 

“You looked good to me.” 

Lexa abruptly springs to her feet, because Clarke unconsciously sends a particularly strong wave her way, and she has to distance herself from her before she breaks and gives in. Clarke blinks up at her, startled, and she flashes her a quick smile. “Sorry. Got a foot cramp.” It’s becoming easier to lie to her. “I think I should get going.” 

“Okay,” Clarke replies, slowly. She goes to stand up, but almost loses her balance. Grabbing her is an instinct Lexa can’t fight, and letting go of her is -- torture she’s not ready to endure. “Okay,” Clarke says again, this time breathlessly. Her hands trail up her biceps, squeezing, and Lexa’s not entirely sure anymore that this is on a subconscious level. “You’re -- strong.” 

That makes her finally release her and take a much needed step back. “I really should go,” she states, swallowing. 

“Yeah.” Clarke’s eyeing her again with that unreadable expression. “See you tomorrow?” 

“Of course.” Her scent’s growing stronger with each passing second, it seems, and she practically stumbles back, suppressing the urge to gasp for air. “See ya,” she barely manages before turning and walk away, without looking back. 

Sleep doesn’t come easy that night. And when it does, it’s a mess of limbs and sighs and breathless pleas. Lexa wakes drenched in sweat and dripping with ache, and her quick self-induced orgasm is relief without satisfaction. 

* * *

Everything goes to hell abruptly and irreversibly one night at a party that Lexa attends purely because of her VP status. Being close to her voters and all that. Clarke comes, too, Unlike Lexa, she actually enjoys it. Keeping track of her is no easy task, and Lexa only manages to locate her again because of her scent. She tries to be as discreet as possible while she sniffs at the air, feeling stupid. That’s why she doesn’t immediately announce herself when she nears the home office Clarke’s in with some of her friends. There  _ is _ an aggressive alpha stink in there with her, and the only reason Lexa doesn’t barge in teeth bared is because it’s mixed in with several scents of other people. Raven’s voice floats through the door, cheerful and loud, and Lexa calms down completely. She’s about to walk in when a mention of her name makes her pause. 

“Whoever breaks that Lexa chick in first wins, and the loser has to back off,” the voice is deep and gruff. Lexa assumes it belongs to the stinky alpha. Then, her eyes widen when she realizes just  _ what _ he said. “Deal or no deal?” 

She’s ready to kick that door down and then kick his teeth in when another voice replies. It’s quiet, and resigned, and it slashes through Lexa’s heart like a rusty knife. “Deal,” Clarke says. The world spins, and stops, tossing Lexa off like a useless ragdoll. 

She’s in one of the bedrooms upstairs, wondering why she hasn’t stormed out yet, when Clarke walks in, softly shutting the door behind her. 

“Hey,” she says, quietly. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” 

_ I’m sure. _ “You found me.” 

“So I did.” Clarke’s expression is lost and empty when she turns around, studying her. She’s not saying anything. Not trying anything. She’s simply staring at her, and her gaze is pained and guilty, and Lexa doesn’t think she can pretend like everything’s fine. 

“Why?” She manages, feeling her throat close up. Clarke blinks. 

“What?” 

“Why did you bet on me? Just now?” She chuckles bitterly at Clarke’s face changing. “I overheard you and that alpha. Why? I thought… You promised you wouldn’t set me up.” 

“I’m not!” Clarke exclaims. She finally moves, approaching Lexa, but she stumbles back, not wanting to be touched right now – and not wanting to be too close to her. “I’m  _ not. _ It’s – Lexa, I’m trying to protect you. Matt… he’s dangerous. He’s fucked up. I don’t know what he could’ve done if I refused to do this stupid bet.” She sighs, wringing her hands. “One of my idiot friends lost a bet, and he offered a new one. To me. Well, it was either me or someone else in that room, and I couldn’t --” She cuts herself off, with another heavy sigh. 

Lexa flexes her jaw, struggling to keep calm. “How did I become a bargaining chip, again? How is  _ your  _ idiot friend’s problem suddenly my problem?” She’s angry. She hasn’t been this angry in – forever. 

“I think Matt realized you and I are close, and just went for it for his own sick amusement,” Clarke shudders, clearly disgusted. “I’m so sorry, Lexa. I swear I was going to tell you about this. I wasn’t going to do...  _ anything _ .” 

Lexa shakes her head at the spike in Clarke’s pheromones.  _ Even now. Typical omega, _ she thinks angrily, and then takes a deep breath, calming herself.  _ No. Don’t think that. _ “And what, am I supposed to lie for your friend now? Let you tell everyone I slept with you?” 

“It’s not just for my friend anymore, it’s for  _ you _ ,” Clarke practically pleads. Her scent changes, becoming soothing, placating. Lexa furiously rubs her face, trying to shake it off. “Matt… he’s not known for being gentle. He will hurt you if he doesn’t believe that I did.” 

“Someone should really call the police about this guy,” Lexa mutters. 

“Waste of time. His father practically owns them. He does whatever the fuck he wants.” 

“I really hate your friends right now,” Lexa tells her, making her laugh. 

“Same.” She pauses, searching her eyes with hers. “I really am so,  _ so  _ sorry, Lex.” 

“Don’t call me that,” she shakes her head, feeling her anger rise again. “Not now.”  _ She bet on me. Whatever the intent was, she bet on me. Like I was nothing. _

Her alpha roars and claws at her chest, leaving bleeding marks all over. Marks she’d love to leave on Clarke’s pale, soft skin.  _ She hurt you. Hurt her. She’ll want you to. _

Clarke’s blue eyes widen, briefly, when Lexa’s arms shoots out to grab her shoulder. “What--” 

“They’ll believe you if your scent’s all over me,” Lexa says lowly.  _ And mine is all over you. Except no one can fucking sense it. Not even you. _ Her fingers dig into Clarke’s flesh of their own accord, making her softly yelp. She kind of feels like weeping. 

“Lexa.” Clarke’s voice is trembling, but it’s not with fear. “Stop.” 

Somehow, their foreheads find each other, and for a second, they just stand there, grasping at shoulders as they breathe in, deep and greedy. For the first time since meeting her, Lexa lets Clarke’s scent envelop her. Lets it overwhelm her, completely, as she surrenders, feeling her alpha howl with joy. She closes her eyes, and she’s standing on a cliff, with the ocean raging beneath. One step, and she’ll fall into it. 

Clarke’s eyes are an endless blue, and the ocean is ice cold as it washes over her with their very first kiss. It’s nothing like Lexa’s imagined and built it up to be. It’s harsh, and bruising, and it bleeds through her heart, and she can’t get enough. 

She feels hands tangle in her hair and then tug as Clarke bites into her lip, softly at first, crying out with Lexa sharply nips back. Salty. Hot. “Lexa,” her name is a mix between a whimper and a groan on Clarke’s lips. “God, wait, just – stop.” Yet, her body is telling a different story when she presses her nose to Lexa’s pulse point, deeply inhaling and shuddering. 

Lexa has no idea where she gets the willpower to slow down. “I don’t think you want me to stop,” she practically growls, squeezing Clarke’s sides to stop her hands from sliding lower, to the sweet-smelling heat. It’s true. She  _ knows _ Clarke wants, no,  _ needs _ her to continue. She doesn’t simply smell it. She can  _ feel _ it. Clarke’s desire, Clarke’s needs are reverberating through her chest, echoing in her entire being and pulling her in stronger than ever before. 

“I do,” Clarke breathlessly lies. “We need to stop.” 

She agrees, deep down. If they go through with this, they will never be able to go back to the way things were. And this weak flicker of desperate, insane hope somewhere in her chest demands she stop, too, because if there’s even the slightest chance of  _ them _ , it will for sure die tonight if she lets it. And  _ they _ should be so much more than a fumbling romp in someone else’s sheets with other one-time couples a mere thin wall apart. 

Her hand finds Clarke’s, slowly, and squeezes as gently as she can allow it to before she lets go of her and steps away. “You can tell people whatever you want.” Clarke’s head snaps up, as if slapped, as she stares at her. “I’m – done.” Her entire career in the school council is probably done, too. Lexa can’t help but smirk. Her first sex scandal. Hopefully, her last one as well. 

Clarke doesn’t try to stop her when she leaves. 

* * *

Surprisingly, Matt doesn’t demand further proof, seemingly satisfied with the sight of a rattled Lexa storming out of the house. Clarke somehow convinces her friends to keep their mouths shut about the whole thing. There are no stares when she walks into the school the next Monday. That’s mainly why she doesn’t ignore Clarke when she approaches her at her locker. 

That, and her complete inability to deny this girl. “Hey,” Clarke says, quietly. 

“Hey. I got your texts,” she tells her, a little flat. “I wasn’t in the right state of mind to reply.” 

“I get it,” Clarke nods. She’s a picture of innocence today, with her white sundress and a loose braid. Lexa might’ve slammed her locker shut a little harder than necessary. “I’m honestly surprised you’re still talking to me.” 

“So am I,” Lexa admits, truthfully. She should tell her to fuck off. Right. As if that would ever happen. She may have underestimated the strength of the bond they barely even share. 

“I deserve that,” Clarke mumbles. “But – can we talk? Please?” 

She shrugs. Not like she can fall any lower than this. She lets herself be dragged to another empty classroom, head hung. 

“Hey, are you okay?” 

She sighs. “You wanted to talk, so talk.” 

Blue eyes flash with hurt before Clarke takes a deep breath. Then, she frowns. “This might be a very weird question, but -- your parents  _ are _ mated, right? I mean, your dad’s a mated alpha, right?” 

Lexa flexes her jaw, making a mental note to talk to her doctor about new pills. “Yeah. What, do I smell again?” 

Clarke nods. “Maybe -- I don’t know, I guess I’m so sensitive to your scent because of… what happened this Friday,” she says, stumbling over her words. “I just… I can’t stop thinking about you. About that kiss. I keep replaying it, over and over. I’m even dreaming of it,” she ends in a whisper. 

“I’m flattered,” Lexa deadpans. 

“No, Lexa, you don’t get it,” Clarke shakes her head. She looks worried. And scared. And Lexa has to draw blood from the inside of her cheek to keep herself from reaching out and enveloping her in her embrace, shielding her from the world.  _ This is not normal. _ “Something’s -- not right. I can feel it, here,” she clutches at her chest, shakily. “It’s not just a crush or whatever.” 

“What are you saying?” 

Clarke visibly hesitates before asking her next question. “Are you sure you’re a beta?” 

* * *

Her doctor refuses to make her pills stronger and advises she comes clean about everything. She contemplates punching him. 

Of course, she doesn’t tell Clarke anything. She laughs, and dismisses her correct suspicions as implausible and insane, going as far as to suggest her new body is to blame for Clarke’s hormones going all wacky. Insulting, yes. But anything to deflect and keep her secret. She knows she cut deep, even though Clarke tries not to show it. To say she feels guilty would be an understatement to end all understatements. In the end she was forced to do what she was trying her hardest to avoid. Reduce Clarke to mere biology and primal urges. To an omega.

She  _ does  _ admit to her she liked the kiss, too, because she can’t lie when Clarke hits her with the unfair question. The hope in blue eyes dims when she also tells her she can’t think of a relationship between them at the moment since she needs more time, and space. Thankfully, Clarke agrees to give it to her. She just needs to figure out what to tell her when the waiting period’s over. 

It’s been a relatively peaceful week of solitude that she’s desperately needed. Not only for her mental stability, either. With all of this teenage female alpha drama going on, she managed to get two Cs. Not one. Two. The look on her teachers’ faces is nothing compared to the storm of disappointment raging inside her when she receives the tests back. Minimum exposure to everything Clarke was definitely a must. 

At least at the end of this both relieving and stressful week, Lexa gets the house to herself for the whole weekend. Her parents decide to spend some quality time together, which isn’t something she wants to dwell on too much. She’s just grateful for two days of complete freedom. Carb-loaded take-out dinner and mindless Netflix binging on a Friday night have never sounded this good. 

She’s almost finished putting her pajamas on, fully intending on not taking them off during these two days, when she hears someone urgently knocking on her door. Banging, more like it. Frowning and grabbing her phone, Lexa hurries downstairs. She doesn’t have to wonder who it is for very long. The powerful scent that literally makes her knees give out at the bottom of the stairs is enough of a hint. 

Lexa practically slams into the door, gripping the handle almost hard enough to break it. She presses her forehead against the smooth wooden surface, breathing through her teeth, careful not to inhale Clarke’s thick desperation. Too late. She knows it’s too late. The air’s already soaked through. She feels like her entire house is filled with Clarke’s scent. Every crack, every nook – all of it has her now, and she’s never leaving, and Lexa doesn’t ever want her to. 

“Fuck,” she hisses, punching the wall to try and get rid of the haze Clarke’s inadvertently putting her in. Doesn’t work – she barely even registers the pain. “ _ Fuck! _ ” 

“Lexa?” Clarke sounds on the verge of tears, and it takes every drop of her quickly evaporating willpower not to throw the door open and sweep her up in a crushing embrace. “I can  _ feel  _ you there,” she says shakily, both with awe and disbelief. “I -- please. It’s never been this bad. Lex -- I think it’s because I kissed you, and…  _ please _ let me in.” 

Lexa thinks she feels her trembling. Lexa thinks she’s losing her mind. But she can’t just let Clarke stand there, out in the open. For one, she’s a young, unmated omega in heat. That’s all kinds of dangerous. 

“What the hell,” she growls at Clarke as she swiftly opens the door. “What are you doing here, when you’re like this? Why didn’t you take suppressants?” 

“My heat isn’t due for another month. Or, wasn’t,” Clarke tells her. Her right hand’s clutching her lower abdomen, and she’s grasping at the doorframe with her left one, seemingly trying not to slide down to her knees. Trembling, with her cheeks red and her wild eyes wet with frustrated tears, she looks – well, an absolute, pitiful mess. 

Lexa thinks she’s never seen anything more beautiful in her entire fucking life. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” 

“You know I’m in heat,” Clarke throws back. For a second, her eyes clear, flashing with the answer she’s been so desperately seeking. Then, they glaze over again, and she whimpers, bending over. 

“It’s kind of obvious,” Lexa manages through her teeth. She has  _ no _ idea how she’s still standing. Everything in her screams to drag Clarke into her bed and  _ bite, _ making her  _ hers _ once and for all. Perhaps, that’s why she still hasn’t pounced on her. Being terrified of her own self is surprisingly sobering.

Clarke’s matted hair becomes even more disheveled when she rapidly shakes her head. “No,” she insists. “No, you knew before you opened the door. Before you saw me. I know. I felt it. I felt you  _ respond. _ You’re…” she struggles to lift her head, and Lexa faintly feels the wooden frame split in her clenched fist when Clarke’s dark, practically black eyes meet hers. “You’re  _ mine _ .” 

Someone’s growling. Lexa only realizes it’s her halfway to the couch she carries a whining Clarke to. There’s nothing she can do about it, though – and nothing she  _ wants  _ to do. Except tear those suddenly unnecessary clothes off her omega. Somewhere in the back of her mind, there’s a weak, panicked voice screaming at her to slow down. To remember why this is the worst thing to do right now. But for the life of her she just  _ can’t.  _

All she can do is succumb to Clarke’s heated, pleading gaze. 

* * *

They barely leave her bedroom for three days. Lexa runs downstairs once, while Clarke’s sleeping, and stocks up on food and water so they don’t die of exhaustion by the time the heat is over. There’s no alpha inside her now. She  _ is _ the alpha, and her one and only purpose is keeping her mate safe and sated. She can’t think of anything else. There’s  _ nothing _ else to think about. When she’s not making her omega scream, her mind is almost completely blank. There’s a giant picture of Clarke where the thought process used to be, and Lexa doesn’t find it weird in the slightest. Mostly because she can’t. She realizes that on the fourth day, when the fog of their first shared heat dissipates and her mind finally wakes with her body. 

And her mind is  _ horrified. _

For a second, she lies there, paralyzed, with a naked Clarke sprawled on top of her as she replays the last three days and everything they’ve done. All the kisses, and moans, and biting – lots of biting, Lexa thinks dryly. Clarke on her, and her in Clarke. Sharing breaths. Cuddling. Clarke’s eyes void of blue, and of thought. They must’ve completely given in to their primal selves. Lexa recalls reading something about it. People actually train to let go of their human sides, claiming it makes for unforgettable heats. It’s supposed to be difficult. Damn near impossible. 

Clarke shifts, and she freezes, grasping at the sheet underneath them with terrified anticipation of what’s to come. In a second, Clarke will wake up, and she will be hit with an awful realization, and she’ll yell and throw things and be completely justified. 

“Morning,” a hoarse voice murmurs into her ear, before soft lips leave a kiss under it. “You smell so good… No more daily showers, please,” Clarke chuckles as she presses even closer to Lexa, pawing at her. 

“It’s the pills. Showers have nothing to do with it.” She swallows. “Clarke. What did we  _ do _ ?” 

She can feel Clarke’s lazy, satisfied smile against her neck. “Found each other,” is her simple answer, murmured into her skin before another kiss. There’s a strange, quietly rumbling sound that Lexa doesn’t recognize at first in her state of shock, but when she does, her eyes widen with astonishment. Clarke’s literally  _ purring _ in her arms. 

And she’s started to purr back. 

“Clarke,” she tries to fight through the now-familiar haze settling over them. “Clarke, we need to talk. We need to figure out what to do now, we -- this shouldn’t have happened like this.” 

The purring stops. Clarke lifts her head to give her a confused look. That clearly involves too much moving for her to handle, though, because her expression becomes pained as she winces. “Ouch,” she chuckles, slowly rolling onto her back and hissing. “Sore.” 

Lexa immediately follows after her before she can even process her actions. Concern pushes all of her doubt and guilt and horror out of the way as she props herself up on her elbow and looks Clarke over. “Where?” Well. A dumb question to end all dumb questions, for sure. 

Clarke opens one eye to squint at her with barely concealed laughter. Her hands slide up her arms, to the back of her neck, idly playing with small hair. “Everywhere,” she tells her, smiling. “Mostly, uh, down there.” Lexa mentally chastises herself for the thought, but it is refreshing to see Clarke display at least some amount of the embarrassment she feels. “You kind of put your whole fist in me at one point,” she confesses. Her cheeks are a lovely sight dusted with bright pink like that. 

Lexa sighs heavily as she remembers that particular moment. It happened at the very beginning. And then a couple of times more during the next two days. “I don’t have a knot so I guess my alpha went for the closest alternative. I hurt you,” she ends up whispering, regretfully. “I…” 

“You didn’t,” Clarke hurries to reassure her. At Lexa’s incredulous look, she only smiles. “I mean, yeah, I’m sore now, but who wouldn’t be after three days of heat sex? You were – surprisingly gentle. I practically yelled at you to just shove it in and you growled at me to stay quiet and took  _ forever, _ don’t you remember?” 

Lexa does. Even in her heat-induced alpha craze, she couldn’t stand the thought of hurting Clarke. “Yeah. I remember.” 

“And when we tied you wouldn’t stop kissing me everywhere,” Clarke grins. “It was adorable.” She sighs, slowly stretching and groaning. “I can’t wait till my next heat when we’ll be a little more in control. Don’t get me wrong, this was awesome, but I also kind of want to talk to you about what’s happening when it’s happening, you know?” 

Next heat. Lexa freezes at the words, staring Clarke in the eyes. “What?” Clarke asks. 

She shakes her head. Now that she knows Clarke’s okay – more than okay, from the looks of it – all of her conflicting feelings rush back in, rising and drowning her. 

“Oh, no,” Clarke says quickly, rolling them over and climbing on top of her, with another wince. “I feel you overthinking this. You have got to stop doing that.” 

“How can you…” Lexa trails off to release a frustrated breath. “How can you stay this calm about this?” Her hands slide to Clarke’s hips despite her inner turmoil, and she scowls. This whole  _ true mates _ business will make fighting and standing her ground very difficult in the future. 

“About what? Finding my true mate?” Clarke’s lips quirk in a happy grin. “I’m not calm, I’m ecstatic. You have  _ no _ idea how incredible this feels. I mean, I hope you have some idea, but – Lexa, I finally feel…  _ filled. _ I’m not empty anymore. And it happened with a person I’m actually in love with. Someone I’ve already been in love with before even knowing she’s my mate.” 

She stares at Clarke with disbelief. Clarke looks at her with patience, and a plead to understand. “What?” Not the most original, she knows, but she can’t form any other words at the moment. 

Clarke nods. Her gaze is calm, confident happiness that makes Lexa’s chest expand. “Been in love with you this whole time,” she confesses quietly. “God, I thought I’d never get to tell you this. You seemed so weirded out by omegas, and alphas, and everything to do with us, and you just seemed so… uninterested in anything more than friendship. I mean, you weren’t even into me as a friend in the beginning,” she chuckles, but her eyes flash with old hurt and insecurities. Lexa swallows at the sharp pang of guilt in her chest. “I thought you wouldn’t want me, an obligation. And – honestly, sometimes I wasn’t sure how to have a relationship with a beta.” 

“What about Finn?” The familiar burn of rage rises in her stomach, and she grits her teeth to stop it from spreading. 

Clarke scoffs. “Finn Collins? He was entertaining from time to time, but we never dated. I never wanted him.” 

“So… If I were a beta, you’d never tell me how you felt about me?” She can’t help but feel hurt by that. That means Clarke doesn’t want  _ her. _ She just needs her alpha, to satisfy her during heats. 

But Clarke hides her face in her hands, and her shoulders shake with quiet laughter. “Lexa,” she says, shaking her head with amused disbelief. “Why do you think I came here?” 

“You were in heat,” she replies. She hates how small her voice is. “You weren’t… fully yourself.” 

“Oh, baby,” Clarke coos, and gently tugs at her, making her sit up and pressing closer to her when she does. “My heat started when I was already parking in front of your house. I’d never be able to  _ drive _ like this. Or even walk. Man, the chocolate’s probably melted,” she mutters wistfully, mostly to herself. 

“You brought me chocolate?” 

“Yeah. I fully intended on wooing you, not ambush you with my heat.” Then, Clarke’s face changes so rapidly Lexa actually gets scared for her. “Oh my god. I’m an idiot. I forced you into this and now I’m all happy and not even listening to you – oh, my god,” she staggers back, eyes wide and filling with horror. “I think I’m going to be sick.” 

“Wait, no – Clarke,” now it’s Lexa’s turn to gently grab her and hold her close. What a pair they make, she smiles grimly to herself. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t even know I was an alpha.” Come to think of it, Lexa’s the one to blame. She must’ve triggered Clarke’s heat. 

So many questions to ask her doctor. 

Clarke’s still trembling in her arms. She holds her tighter, feeling a strange, tingling sensation spread through her veins. A moment later, Clarke relaxes, sagging against her and breathing her in. “Not fair,” she mumbles into her skin. 

Huh. So that’s what releasing her pheromones feels like. “Sorry. It just kinda… happened.” 

She pauses, stroking Clarke’s hair and simply enjoying her warmth. “I have so many things to tell you,” she says, then, letting determination wash over her as she finally surrenders to her heart. This is it. She knows she can’t let go of her now that she’s had her. Not after hearing Clarke tell her everything she didn’t know she needed to hear. And even if she could – she simply does not want to. 

Clarke accepts her. Clarke’s in love with her. Clarke was ready to take a chance on a beta her – to sacrifice the possibility of a conventional happily ever after to be with her. Well, in a way, she’s still making that sacrifice. But it doesn’t matter. Lexa will make sure she never regrets her choice. 

“You’re not mad?” Clarke asks timidly. She seems tiny pressed against her like this, and she smells like a spring flower field just after rain, and Lexa finally feels whole. 

“I love you,” she tells her instead. “I can’t be mad at you for something that wasn’t your fault.” Clarke sighs when she buries her nose in her hair, deeply inhaling and letting out a soft purr. “Maybe the universe got impatient with us,” she jokes, quietly. Clarke’s short laugh resonates in her chest, bringing forth a new wave of her scent. 

“Maybe. Is it wrong that I’m kind of glad she did?” 

Lexa’s about to tell her that no, it’s not, and maybe they both wanted it to happen a little differently but it never would have if not for this particular chain of events, and now hat she thinks about it that was kind of perfect and she wants it to happen again and again for the rest of their life. But everything she’s preparing to pour out is interrupted by a tentative knock on her door. 

The color drains from their faces simultaneously. 

“Lexa?” her father’s voice is almost unrecognizable with how hesitant it is. “Is everything okay? Is Clarke’s heat over?” 

“Oh my god,” her mate hides her face in the crook of her neck, looking as mortified as Lexa feels. More memories flood in, making her want to crawl under her bed and never come out. Her parents came back last night and walked in on them, and she  _ growled  _ at her father. She will never live that down. “Your parents saw me naked,” Clarke whispers. 

“My parents saw me have sex,” Lexa groans back, absolutely humiliated. “I’m never leaving this room.” 

Her father knocks again. “Daughter?” 

“Yes, sir,” she manages to utter. “We’re okay.” 

Clarke looks at her with wide eyes, and her gaze is panicked, and scared, and embarrassed. But underneath it all, she sees that calm happiness shine at her, and she knows she’s just said the absolute truth. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's clexa and omegaverse and strapons, yall. happy valentine's day!
> 
> (previously posted on patreon)

Finding your mate and getting to spend your life with them is supposed to be a near otherworldly experience. And Lexa definitely can vouch for that. Ever since Clarke and her found their way to each other - in a rather disastrous fashion, she maintains, but more with laughter than mortification - it's been a little easier to breathe. No - life didn't magically become better. She didn't start seeing the world in vivid technicolor. But with her mate by her side, there was this confidence that she can make it through anything, no matter what life throws at them. Lex's pretty sure, though, that it's less to do with finding a mate and much more to do with her mate being Clarke.

They got through and graduated from high school with relative ease, and were lucky enough to get accepted into the same college. Of course, no one was about to let an unmated omega share a room with an unmated alpha, so they lived in separate dorms. Lexa's dad almost had a heart attack when she told him about her decision to live on campus, but begrudgingly calmed down once Lexa mentioned forty percent of the alpha students living in the dormitory were female.

"I just want you to be safe," he sighed at the end of their conversation.

"I know, father." Lexa smiled at the worry in his voice. "But I'm gonna be okay. There's more of us. And this is a very progressive school."

“As it should be,” her father grumbled, and they made plans to go see a game next month when he visited. Lexa never thought she’d see the day where a phone conversation with her dad left her in a great mood, but here they were, and it was good. Life was good, and she welcomed each day with a quiet sort of happiness, no matter the stress she might have ahead.

Then, one day, life got better - and, of course, it all started with Clarke. Which brings them to this moment.

They are lounging in Lexa’s room, both studying - or at least that’s what they were planning on. Lexa’s been pretending to not notice her girlfriend’s increasingly anxious glances for almost ten minutes now, hoping Clarke will just spill whatever it is that’s bothering her, but she finally has enough. Blue eyes widen, mildly panicked, when she snaps her gaze up from her tablet to meet them, and Clarke quickly looks away. She looks so much like a kid caught stealing a cookie Lexa almost wants to laugh, but she supresses her grin, clearing her throat.

“Clarke.”

Clarke blinks up at her from the article she’s pretending to read with the kind of intensity no one’s ever given any article ever. “Hmm? Yeah, sorry, was really engrossed in this…” she glances back to her phone and frowns. “...buzzfeed quiz. Um.”

“Okay.” Lexa puts her tablet away and scoots closer to Clarke, who’s just watching her with a hesitant expression. She lays her head in her lap, knowing how much Clarke enjoys it when she does so. Immediately, Clarke’s hand tangles in her hair, gently scratching at her scalp, and Lexa squints with pleasure. “Whatever it is, you can tell me,” she says, quietly. Clarke’s look turns guilty, and Lexa grasps her free hand before Clarke can turn away. “It’s okay. I just - I can see something is bothering you, and I want to make it okay, you know?”

Some of the tension leaves Clarke’s shoulders as she half-smiles. “Yeah. It’s not - it’s nothing bad, I promise. Just…”

“Just what?” Lexa prods gently. She entwines their fingers, thumb ghosting across the skin of Clarke’s hand, light enough to tickle, and the blonde sighs, visibly relaxing.

“It’s a little embarrassing, I guess,” she mumbles, squeezing Lexa’s hand. “promise you won’t laugh?”

Lexa almost feels offended. “I’d never laugh at you,” she tells her seriously, making sure she’s looking her in the eye. “Promise.”

“Okay. Right.” As much more chill as she is now, Clarke still fidgets before taking a deep breath. “So I was reading this really cool queer magazine,” she starts conversationally. Her fingers slow in Lexa’s hair, and she drags them down to the back of her neck.

Lexa suppresses a shiver. “Uh-huh.”

“Yeah.” Blue eyes are watching her face closely, now. “There’s a great article about, like, the whole sexual spectrum. Which includes female alphas who date female omegas.” She pauses, as if giving Lexa a moment to quip, but she decides to just nod, prompting her to continue.

"Well… They mentioned that alpha girls can get, like... alpha aids. Sexually." Clarke licks her lips, looking a lot more nervous than usual. "I -- it's not... I'm not saying you're not-- oh, God. Um."

Lexa tries to hide her amused smile and hopes she succeeds. Not that her flustered girlfriend would've noticed anyway in her current state. "Clarke?" She calls, softly, and gives an encouraging nod when she looks at her. "It's okay. Just tell it like it is."

"I, uh, okay - I need you to know I saw it by complete accident and I did not look for it on purpose, but I -- I trust you so much and I couldn't help but wonder what it'd feel like for -- for both of us! Cause it's not just about me, you know? So, yeah, so I, well--"

"Clarke, breathe," this time, Lexa can't help a short laugh as she scoots closer to Clarke and gently cups her cheeks in her hands. "Are you trying to suggest we try alpha toys in the bedroom?"

"How-- how did you--" Then, Clarke deflates. "Yes," she whispers, looking a little guilty and a lot anticipating. "Are you... Are you okay with that? You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"Well, because... I read some forums after I finished the article and some alphas think it's... Using those is like admitting you're not, like, alpha enough - which is dumb, because you're more than alpha enough but also I don't feel like a typical omega with you?" Blue eyes widen with horrified realization. "In a good sense! I just - I just feel like a person. Like your person. And you're my person. And that's more than enough. That's... actually kind of the best."

"And you just answered your own question," Lexa points out, grinning. She tucks a loose strand of Clarke's hair behind the ear, lets her fingers travel to the back of her neck and gently scratch at the sensitive skin, smiling wider when Clarke sighs with a cute little purr and starts to relax. "I'm your person, and I want my person to be happy. And if my person wants to be railed with several inches of silicone, I am more than happy to deliver."

"Lexa, oh my God," Clarke hisses, cheeks uncharacteristically pink with embarrassment. "That's not-- I just want us to discover new things!"

"So you don't want me to rail you."

Clarke looks thoughtful for a second. "I didn't say that."

They place their order almost immediately - right after Lexa's done showing Clarke just how equally enthusiastic she is about their purchase.

***

The box is fairly nondescript, but Lexa’s cheeks still burn as she stares at it sitting on a hotel bathroom’s cabinet. Clarke and her decided on getting a hotel for the weekend since Clarke wouldn’t be able to spend the night and, well - “I’ll definitely need to, Lexa.”. And also, of course, “I wanna be loud.”

Lexa’s cheeks burn even brighter as she recalls that particular conversation, Clarke purring in her ear as her fingers ventured lower and lower and…

She swallows and grabs the damn box, opening it with clumsy fingers. Clarke chose the size, of course - a good seven inches that look really big upfront. Good for now, she remembers Clarke whispering while Lexa was trying to order it in spite of her girlfriend’s best attempts of distracting her, and holy crap she really needs to hurry up and come join her waiting mate in the bedroom. She can smell how anxious Clarke is just outside the door. Once again a wave of gratitude washes over her at Clarke agreeing to let her do this by herself. This as in putting on an alpha strapon for the first time in her life.

And it’s… an interesting experience, to say the least. Once she quickly figures out the fastenings, she can't help but preen just a little when she looks at herself in the mirror. There is just something about having this -- this part of her jutting out so proudly from between her legs, roaring and ready to go - this is not what she expected to feel. She thought she'd feel silly, maybe, and a little embarrassed. Not... mighty in a completely new, unfamiliar sense before.

She touches the moderate knot at the base and marvels at the involuntary shudder running through her.

And the mere thought of sliding inside Clarke like this has her grasping at the cabinet to steady herself. She's absolutely overcome with need, sudden and deep and greedy, and all she can really do is stumble out of the bathroom to the call of her mate.

Her mate, who's standing in the middle of the room, wide-eyed and grasping a bed sheet around herself. Who was clothed about ten minutes ago.

Lexa's not sure how she gets enough composure to raise a curious eyebrow at Clarke's current - delectable - state.

"I, uh. I was figuring out what pose to greet you in," Clarke admits, her cheeks pink with embarrassment before she glances down and her entire face flushes hot while her lips form a perfectly round O. And Lexa can't wait to see her mouth do that again while she's deep inside of her.

The thought sends an electric shock right to her clit, and she has to dig her short nails in her palms to stop herself from marching over to Clarke and throwing her on the bed to claim. "Clarke," she barely manages, in another effort to maintain some self-control. Her mate's name comes out raspy and low. Blue eyes flash with anticipation.

And then she lets go of the sheet.

It’s all in slow motion effect - the sheet sliding down Clarke’s naked body, revealing skin inch by inch. Her chest, heaving with breaths; her soft stomach Lexa loves to nuzzle as she goes down on her; and -- Lexa groans out loud when she simultaneously sees and smells the wetness glistening on Clarke’s inner thighs even from where she’s standing.

Clarke’s the first to break the heady silence. “Well,” she utters, voice shaky. “Why are you still standing there?”

//

They are a blur of greedy lips and hands and bodies on their way to the bed. She can tell her mate’s ready enough to forego any preparation, and her alpha’s been ready to grab and take ever since she fastened the last strap if she’s honest, but -- she wants to prolong it just a little more.

And she’s always liked to start things off with dessert first.

“Lexa,” Clarke’s voice is impatient, heavy with a displeased whine, as she starts peppering determined kisses down her stomach. And she gets it. Good God she gets it, but she just can’t do it any other way right now.

She leans down to meet Clarke’s soft lips in a quick but deep kiss. “I know,” she whispers once they break apart. “I just need to taste you right now.” Being surrounded by her scent and not drinking her in is borderline torture. Her expression must give away her desperation, because Clarke doesn’t object this time. Only swallows and tangles her fingers in Lexa’s tousled curls. And she takes it as a sign of permission.

Finding Clarke this drenched has always done things to her, but today it's especially maddening. She moans together with Clarke as she gives her cunt a messy kiss, tongue and all, hooking her arms under Clarke's knees and pushing them up to open her up even more. She loves having her like this. Bare and on display and raw in such a vulnerable way. Clarke always gives herself over to her completely and fully in bed, and Lexa can't even begin to explain how much she cherishes her absolute trust.

So she always tries to show it. Like now.

Clarke's tugging on her hair almost painfully and they haven't even started, not really. But Lexa couldn't care less. All she cares about is the dripping down her chin and Clarke's clit on her tongue, so tense and twitching she can almost feel it. She latches on with her lips, gently sucking on it as Clarke practically sobs out her name. This. This is her favorite pastime. Screw having a political career. She'd be just as happy to live between Clarke's legs.

Too bad her mate has other ideas.

Seemingly having had enough teasing, Clarke tugs on her hair again, demandingly this time. "Lexa." Her voice, though shaky, doesn't leave much room for argument. Lexa has to push down an instinctive alpha growl bubbling in her throat at being challenged. Almost immediately, Clarke's soothing pheromones fill the air - and she can't help but grin adoringly at how much her mate can feel her.

With a grumble, she gives Clarke's cunt a parting kiss, making sure it's particularly deep, and slowly leans back with a brow raised. "Yes, Clarke?"

Blue eyes flash with arousal and annoyance. "Come here and fuck me already."

Oh, but she so shouldn't have done that. Although, since things end up playing out exactly her way, maybe she did precisely what she should've. This time, Lexa does nothing to stop the growl from escaping as she surges forward, trapping Clarke underneath her. The toy ends up trapped between their bodies, smooth silicone rubbing against skin.

Clarke's gaze turns pleading in a matter of seconds. "Lex," she breathes out, fingers digging in her shoulders as she clings to her, legs clasped around her back. "Please. Wanna feel you inside, wanna come on you, please--" she cuts herself off with a gasp, when Lexa finally, finally sneaks her hand between them to grasp at the cock and slowly guides it through Clarke's folds. She stops just short of her entrance after a couple of circles around her clit, and they both look down in curious, aroused anticipation.

And then, Lexa holds her breath and pushes in.

It feels -- unlike anything she's ever felt. Of course, she can't actually feel Clarke around her, but the visual alone almost makes her feel like she can. Clarke's so, so wonderfully wet it doesn't take anything for the head to slip inside her; at that, they both let out an awed, relieved groan.

"Lexa -- God, you feel so good," her mate whispers frantically, letting her head drop back on a pillow. "M-more," she gasps. Tugs Lexa closer by her neck and leaves a desperate kiss on her lips. "Need more of you."

The words run through Lexa like an electric shock, down to her very core. She needs her. Her omega needs her, and the alpha inside her sings.

Lexa rests her forehead on Clarke's and slides all the way inside.

Well. Fuck.

Clarke’s blunt nails are digging in her shoulders as she lets out one of the sharpests gasps Lexa’s ever heard from her. She’s a vision to behold, truly, with her blonde hair all over the pillows and eyes wide and dark with desire so deep Lexa feels it in her very essence. And -- she shouldn’t be able to feel Clarke inside, but it’s almost as if she does. The drenched hot silk of her pulling Lexa in. Pulsing around her, impatient and erratic - not at the tipping point yet, but so deliciously close.

“Lexa,” Clarke chants, like the holiest of mantras. “Lexa, oh God. You’re -- you’re so deep, I…”

She gathers all of her willpower to keep her alpha at bay and not clamp her teeth around the smooth throat. “Is this okay?” She whispers, hotly, as she struggles not to move. Clarke’s only used to her fingers, after all. This is the new kind of stretch for her mate.

The thought shoots her right between her legs, and Lexa can’t help a groan and a twitch of her hips. Which seemingly sends a shockwave through Clarke, who lets out a moaning sob and clings to her even tighter, desperately seeking Lexa’s lips with her own as she whispers for more.

“Clarke,” Lexa growls, and starts to move.

She hopes this gets imprinted in her memory forever - the feeling of having Clarke like this, open and vulnerable in a new way for them both. Sweat sliding down her temple. Awed sighs and hungry rolls of Clarke’s hips. This newly discovered slow rhythm that has both of them singing each other praises.

Then, Clarke murmurs a faster in her lips, and it’s like someone flips the switch in Lexa’s brain. Giving in to her alpha, while always a relief, has never felt this… liberating. Her only focus, her only drive becomes her mate’s pleasure.

And her mate seems very, very pleased with this turn of events, if Clarke’s loud enthusiastic moans are any indication. It’s only a matter of time - and a couple of relentless, fast-paced thrusts - before moans turn to screams.

The first time Clarke comes, it takes them both by surprise - Clarke because it takes seemingly less than a minute, and Lexa because she follows right along, the world exploding around her as she growls Clarke’s name over and over again. It’s an endless wave of a shared orgasm washing over them while they grasp at each other, and Lexa won’t be able to tell how long it’s lasted. Only that she’s the special sort of boneless after they come back to earth through quieting moans and mutual whispers of appreciation.

She loves this as much as the lovemaking itself, she thinks. Drifting through the orgasmic haze in Clarke’s arms as she listens to the omega’s heartbeat - rapid at first, and then strong and sure and soothing. Breathing her in and skirting her teeth over her pulse point, close enough to where an official mating mark usually is, and hearing Clarke’s breath hitch.

And now, somehow, feeling her flutter around her there, where they are still joined together, hot and tense and thoroughly soaked.

Clarke’s the first to break the silence as her fingers caress Lexa’s shoulder blades. “God, I think I left marks,” she murmurs, almost apologetic. Lexa can only grin in her neck.

“Hope so,” she replies, lifting her head to look into clear blue eyes. “Because I want to be reminded of this as long as possible.”

“I don’t think this is something we’ll ever forget,” Clarke says sincerely, with a quirk of her lips and a blush tainting her cheeks. “This was. I mean.”

“I know,” Lexa breathlessly laughs at her mate’s marvelling face. “Are you -- I mean, was that okay? I didn’t… hurt you, did I?”

“Trust me, baby, I am very much looking forward to feeling sore for a few days. Like you said,” her mate leans up to nudge her nose with her own, eyes twinkling with adoration. “Wanna be reminded of this. Of you inside me.”

Lexa groans, dropping her head onto a pillow beside Clarke’s head. She’s suddenly all too aware of the fact that she’s still in Clarke. The knot isn’t - not yet, Lexa thinks with need flaring up low in her stomach - but it’s very much there, nudging at Clarke’s entrance. “You can’t… You can’t say things like this to me. Because it -- does things.”

Clarke hums, with a smile that’s a tad too self-satisfied for Lexa’s liking. “And I want you to keep doing things to me,” she quips, “so it all works out, really.”

“Oh?” She can feel her alpha stirring, pleased and roaring to go. “You want more?”

Blue eyes watch her with so much love Lexa almost forgets how to breathe. “Always want more of you,” her omega whispers, her hands gently squeezing the back of her neck - and her core gently squeezing around her, making her gasp at the pull of the toy. “And, if I can feel it correctly, there is still more of you to have.” Her words are punctuated with a slow roll of hips, and both of them hiss at the knot rubbing against Clarke’s entrance.

“Bad girl,” Lexa murmurs, with a slow grin. “Very, very bad girl.”

“Your girl,” Clarke points out, with a cheeky grin - a grin that quickly fades into a moan as Lexa starts to pull out and then go back in, her pace agonizingly slow. “Mine,” she echoes to Clarke, her tender smile matching her thrusts. “And I’m yours.”

***

Next day, Clarke walks around with a wince and a deep, colorful hickey she proudly refuses to cover up, and her happy grin is more than enough to make up for all the knowing glances and smirks thrown Lexa’s way.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm open to prompts and commissions at [my tumblr](http://geralehane.tumblr.com)!  
> i am also working on an original story that's basically a wlw buffy/night vale crossover, check my tumblr for that and other original content!


End file.
